One of the most important thing in life is LOVE. Therefore, I want to share what I know about the subject with whoever is willing to read it. For those who listen, they will hear and for those who seek they will find.
..................Work in progress................It's not really organized, just more like random thoughts for now =).............................
What Love is: Love is unchanging and eternal. It is given unconditionally, generously, and unselfishly. It needs no reason. Love is a decision. In it's simplest form, love is commitment, trust, devotion, forgiveness, sacrifice and most importantly faith.
What Love is Not: Love is not a strong feeling. Love is not lust, sex, nor infatuation. Love is definitely not desire either. Love is not about finding the best/ better one or the person who can make us feel a certain way. Love cannot be proven by the things someone does for you, no matter how great. Only time will tell.
Love often starts out as a strong feeling. Naturally, attraction is the start of commitment; a person we desire is someone we want to be around and have a relationship with. However, that is the only purpose feelings serve. Other than that feelings can be dangerous as it can blind us. We can overlook a potentially harmful person because they are charming or good looking. What we need to see is behind that good looking face instead of getting distracted by their good qualities. Some questions we need to ask are, is that person willing to commit? Can we trust them with our life? Will they be devoted to us/ to our future family? Will they be able to forgive us if we make mistakes whether on purpose or unintentionally? Will they sacrifice for us their time/ their life? Will their faith stay the same no matter how rough it gets? A relationship is only worth risking if you can answer yes to all these questions.
"Feelings" are nothing more than fleeting emotions, thus love cannot be based on "feelings". Nothing is constant, we all change, everything will change from physical appearances to mental processing. Therefore, love cannot be based on liking them for who they are because 10 years from now they will not be that same exact person you supposely fell in love with. If you base your "love" on feeelings then it will not last. Love is not like a business deal where its all about give and take. To love is to give without expecting a return whether its a physical or emotional return. Likewise, to love in order to expect love back is selfish, which contradicts the concept of love. However, if you do receive love back, cherish it.
Love is a sacred word and should only be used if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. If you say you love someone and 3 months or even 3 years down the road you leave them because you got bored, found someone better or maybe you found out something you didn't like about them, then you NEVER really love them to begin with. Love is not about finding the best one because there will always be someone who is better looking, more wealthy, or makes you feel more special. Love is about accepting them for who they are including the good and the bad because no one is perfect. Perhaps they have issues, they have anger problems, became addicted to drugs, or became physically or mentally handicapped. A loving person would help them through it or stay by their side instead of leaving to find someone better or someone who isn't an inconvenience to their life.
There are many people who are abusive, and if you've tried your best to help them then it may be best to leave. Sometimes it's best for people to sort through things on their own. Be faithful and wait for them as you'll want them to wait for you, too. Imagine you stranded on an island after your plane crashed. How long would you expect your partner to wait for you? When you finally make it back home (when you finally overcame your anger/ abusive issues) would you be sad to find that they're with someone else? What happened to always being there for each others even through the rough times? If you can't keep this promise with that person then how can you keep your promise with the next person?
The word "love" is thrown around these days by people who don't fully understand or mean it. These people are usually unable to keep their promises either that is why there are so many broken hearts. How will you know if someone truly love you? Well, you won't until they die. Someone can say they love you today and break your heart tomorrow or 50 years later. As mentioned before, to love is to have faith. Whether someone is faithful when they say they love you is not something we can know. It may just be for the moment. Will their words remain the same tomorrow or until their dying days? When someone dies, thats when we can conclude the chapter, that's when all things are finalized and you can confidently say whether they've loved you or not. Until then, faith is what keeps us going.
If you really like that person, just say you like them instead of saying you love them. How many of us actually married the first person we thought we love? Exactly. Two people may say they love each others but their defintions may be completely different. Perhaps she wanted to be with him mostly because he is nice and can give her a stable life. Maybe he wants her because she is pretty or because he is lonely. These people may say they love each others, but when the situation changes, when their feelings changes, their "love" will suddenly dissapear, too. Be with someone not because you need them, but because you want to, and because you understand what love is. However, just as important is your faith. When hell comes, will your faith still be there?
Over time feelings change. When you first meet them you may be full of excitement and joy or as many people call it, have butterflies in your belly. However, feelings come and go and that "feeling" will, too, just like sadness, pain, frustration, and thrill. Do not be scared because the feeling has changed. As a relationship mature, they may feel like a best friend or even a brother or sister, perhaps a mom or dad. Part of the initial exciting feeling is partially because you do not fully understand their feelings and you do not know what to expect. You do not want them to see your flaws, but only your best attributes. However, when you've been together for a while, there is less mystery to discover. You've become used to them so it doesn't feel as exciting anymore. A real relationship is one that is understanding, caring, and nurturing so if you get there, then pat yourself on the back instead of running off to find that "feeling". It's not worth it because you'll be chasing it forever.
I will continue to add things on; however if you would like a specific question answered or think something I've said is wrong, let me know. Good luck to you all.
Sex: is it ok to have sex simply for pleasure? with a person you have strong feelings for? Well, no it's not ok. Why? Because it is disrespectful to your future husband or wife. Why care about the future? Why not just enjoy the moment? Well, because the future will eventually become the moment. That is why it is important. Do you want to leave a cardboard box for your children or a nice house? Do you want your wife or husband to have slept with multiple partners? It may have been in the past, but the fact that it happened cannot be erased. What's the difference between your wife/ husband sleeping with someone 3 years ago and someone in the last 24 hours? It's in the past anyway, right? And what difference does it make that it happened before you were married or afterwards? The fact that it exist is what matters. Just because you have not met your wife/ husband does not mean you should let other people pleasure your body. Just because you do not know what is right does not give you the excuse to do what is wrong. Lust is a temptation that most of us easily fall into, but we must all remember, that someday we will have a family, too. Thus, it is important to save yourself for marriage. You're not missing out on anything, trust me. Sexual experience will not make you a better lover, it actually ruins your image.
The Mystery of Love
The media often portray love as a magical feeling and or mysterious force drawing two people together. In reality, this magical feeling is nothing more than an illusion achieved through subtle manipulation. Since most people already base their definition of love as strong feelings, its very easy to manipulate them. As long as a person looks decent they can fool anyone with their lies. Just say the right thing at the appropriate time. Attempt to be funny. Be dependable, pretend to be a good person if you must. Donate to charity, wine and dine them. Make them feel special. Make empty promises. Make yourself desirable by adopting a pseudo personality you know will appeal to that certain individual. Being popular and exclusive helps here too, everyone wants something that others will envy.
And when you have gotten what you wanted from the beginning, there is no need to feel guilty, because those strong feelings are created by them, NOT you. You never asked them to love you, all you did was perform a series of well timed actions triggering them to feel a certain way for you. It was their decision to open their heart to you; it was their decision to love you. There’s no excuse to say it all happens because of feelings. At the end were they the one that made the decision or did the feelings make the decision for them? That’s right.
People who easily falls victim to these words are fools, giving up their sacred body, their time, their life. It can be a costly mistake they may regret for the rest of their life. Its ok to fall, we are all fools at one time in our life, but we better learn fast or we'll just become used trash. But worst still are those who abuse feelings for their own gain. We should never open our heart so easily because nobody is really prepared for the pain that follows. A person who loves you will never rush things or give up on you. They will ensure the best for you even at great costs to them, and this is were you can separate the fakes from the true ones. However, should you fall and shatter, do not stay bitter or hold grudges for too long. It was your mistake after all. There is someone out there who is waiting to truly love and appreciate you =)
There is no such thing as love at first sight because obviously thats just curiosity and attraction mixed with other strong emotions. Love is something that will sprout and continue to grow throughout your life with that person.
Promises should be kept even if you are not benefiting from it anymore thats why you should never promise something you cannot keep. When you break a promise you not only lie to them, but you betray yourself as well.
Forgiveness, is something not many can truly do. A person is only as strong as their heart, or rather their will. Strength is not determined by muscle mass or ability to intimidate others. True strength is the ability to suppress our primal instincts. True strength is having the ability to forgive others. Respect from fear or intimidation is false respect. Real respect is from those who admire you and support what you do.
Humans, most of us are driven by our emotions failing to grasp the situation in which we have created. Keep feeding the fire and when it becomes too big, it will consume you. That's how most relationships end.
"fleeting beauty and momentary material satisfactions can deceive the fools, but the wise can see beyond that"