Because you hate yourself. You're hungry Very Very Hungry So why aren't you eating?You think you're fat, you think people stare at you when you walk around because of the sick rolls of flab hanging off your belly. You're too scared to go into the public bathroom, because you're scared of the skinny people in there laughing at you. You're right. Everyone is staring. But they're staring at how you really look. And how do you really look? We'll get to that later. > You just wanted to do some shopping didn't you? So you took the bus to town. You wondered why your seat didn't break with your fat ass sitting on it. You walk around the shops, staring at the market stools, packed with food. You see someone looking at you. You know what they're thinking. "Look at that fat girl, so desperate for food". You hear laughing somewhere behind you. A group of girls are huddled up looking at a mobile phone in one of their hands. But you know that's just because they turned around when you turned around. They were laughing because you're so fat. You blush. You walk off fast and lose your breath. This is because you're so fat, right? Wrong again. >As I was saying, you can't go into a public bathroom from fear of being laughed at can you? You catch the bus home, but you need the toilet too bad, you think you're gonna piss your pants. When it stops you get off, even though it's nowhere near where you live and have to take a piss in the bushes. You feel humiliated. Someone walks by and catches a glimpse of you in the bush. You feel sick. They must have seen your fucking disgusting legs. The legs you forever keep hidden in jeans. Jeans which must be an Xtra Large. No, Your jeans are Xtra Small. We're starting to get close to the truth now arent we? When you finally get home, your ass was so stung with nettles you had to stand up on the bus, you tear off your clothes and stand infront of the mirror. Nothing to hide you now. Do you see it?
Do you see what you think is fat? Now lets discuss why people were staring. They were staring because your ribs poked through your long sleeve shirt. They were staring because your stick thin legs looked as if they could hardly support your excuse for a body. They were staring because your cheekbones poke through your face. You haven't eaten in ages. You wont. You cant. You're starving. And still you wont eat the food. Hunger is wanting food. Appetite is taking the food. Where's your appetite? Where's your fucking appetite? You're a skeleton. Your eyes are sunken in. There are dark circles around your eyes from staying up all night. There are slits on your skinny arms, where the skin has been ripped open and bled for hours. You know whats wrong, don't you? You're anorexic.